Molested, assaulted, raped?

The entire world is up in arms. There are people with placards and black bands, holding hands, united in revolution. There are journalists writing up incriminating articles in the papers and there are the television presenters, with their uncanny ability to drag a debate till infinity, moderating discussions. It’s a liberated world; it’s a world which feels for the woman, it’s a world which recognizes her pain, her trauma and her anxiety. She has been molested, no because it left like an assault, but not still because she has been raped!!!

Accepting the expected!

Life is an adventure and we keep searching for new stories to tell everyday. We look for anamolys in our in our day to day life to keep the mundane from ruling. But the everyday life is more than just that. It is boring! The day is a schedule and the chores are routine. Right from waking up in the morning to turning in at night, there is nothing new happening. Everything is predictable. Everything is as expected!

The Marriage Conundrum

There are so many stories around marriage and so many incidences around it. But recently I came across an article about a 39 year old man who had hanged himself because he had not been able to marry. Again, it got me wondering about how important marriage is in our great Indian culture. We talk about modernism but we still stick to the old orthodox ways which press for marriage as a sure way to mate. When will it all change? We build computers and software, we launch rockets and satellites but we are still unable to launch ourselves into the future. 

Revenge gives meaning to life:

Everyone preaches about forgiveness. From self help books to gurus to teachers, everyone feels that revenge is what causes most of our worldly troubles. Revenge is what causes wars. Revenge is what causes people to ruin their entire lives. Revenge is the worst of our emotions. But is it really the case? Is revenge such a bad thing? We always look at the wars and the destruction but revenge has also been the best main ingredient in bringing out the best in all of us.

Revenge has brought to us some of the best art, science and even the best investments. Revenge has been instrumental in the forging of the Chanakya Neeti, the foremost text on politics. Revenge is actually a very misunderstood emotion. Its easy to ignore it and focus on the love, just like it is easy to ignore the bad and focus on the good. But we all have to face the bad in us to understand importance of the good.

Rise and Stand up:

Over the years, I have read quite a wide variety of philosophical books. And invariably, every one teaches us restraint and patience. From saints to preachers, everyone has the same set of advise. Conquer anger, conquer fear and conquer your mind.But how much is enough? Where do you draw the line, that you are no longer trampled on? At some point of time, it becomes imperative to show them, that you do have the power to be irritated. And yes, they do have to be told, "Mess with the best, die like the rest."

A very old friend of mine, has her ex chasing even after their break up. And he makes it a point to put her down, in some way or the other. Their prolonged relationship has given him the edge. He knows all her weaknesses and pressure points. And she just blows her top and cribs but just cant turn her ex away.

The saint in the Rikshaw:

I had read somewhere a long time ago that there were saints everywhere and they appeared as and when they were needed. They live amongst us, protecting us, helping us in our everyday struggle with life. When we give up hope, they appear out of nowhere to motivate us not to give up our fight against life. And for long I have believed them to be angels working with us to make our lives easier. And for ever, I have placed them at par with Gods.

And so it has been that whenever I have been troubled, a stranger has come up to hold me. The past few days, I have been bothered about how the office space. I have been bothered about the evil that men do to project the good in them. I have been swallowed by sycophancy, I have been devoured by debauchery, I have been troubled by the troublemakers. And in this troubled mind, I hail a riksaw, almost when I had given up hope of finding one.

Thoughtless

Ever wondered, how forever we are bounded by thoughts? Good thoughts, bad thoughts, but thoughts everywhere. I could never understand how the brain works and where all these thoughts come from (the scientists claim they do). I wonder if they will ever be decoded, thoughts.

But there is a space in our lives, our everyday lives, where we can be absolutely thoughtless. Some call it meditation, a place, a state of the mind when the mind sleeps. But such is the hustle and bustle of success, we forget to rest our tired mind. And the poor mind toils and toils hard.

Leave the women alone!!!

I recently read an article by well-known author Chetan Bhagat, condemning the state of women in our country. He implored his fellow countrymen to look beyond the phulkas and understand the contribution women can make to the society. Then there is this famous writer and feminist who has been imploring women to get on beyond the kitchen and explore other avenues. And then we have this famous actor, pulling up men for the atrocities committed against women.

I recently read about a very dynamic lady in Gujarat who had turned her backyard dairy into a full-fledged business worth crores of rupees. Has she moved beyond the kitchen? Probably not. I am sure her family still enjoys the wonderful meals she cooks up for them every day. I have a colleague who makes wonderful paranthas and gets them in the tiffin every day. And the appreciation, she says, inspires her more to try out new recipes. Has she moved on beyond the kitchen? I wonder.

If women like cooking (which in most cases they do) why are we forcing them to move on? Everyone wants a piece of the pie in the advice for women. Everyone wants them to do this and do that. Some want them to work; some want them to look beyond child rearing and other want them to move beyond the kitchen. All of the above are basic qualities which all women have in them. And if they want to and like to be able to continue doing so, why force them to stop doing what comes naturally?

Need, Indeed:

Need, Deed,
Feed, Breed,
Lead, Plead,
Knead, Bleed,
Steed, Stampede,
Speed, Heed,
Impede, Succeed,
Accede, Secede,
Reed, Weed,
Creed, Exceed,
Greed, Indeed!!!!!

Nobody’s fault:

I recently got into a rickshaw at Vidyavihar-w and immediately noticed that the meter was not working. When I did point it out to the driver, he looked back and mumbled something. I told him to let me get down if he was not sure why the meter was not working and he assured me that it was all good. When I did reach my destination, he demanded Rs.15 whereas from my experience, it should not have been more than Rs.12, which is the minimum fare. And in the ensuing argument, I mentioned to him that when I did point out the issue with his meter, all he did was mumble. To which, the gentleman had a very interesting retort, “Neither is it my fault, nor is it yours”, he said. “The entire fault is that of the meter.” I was too shocked to say anything but was adamant I would not pay the extra Rs.3. Finally after showering me with the choicest vituperations, he left.

Though the incident should have left me angry and flustered, I found myself laughing. Many a times, just to prove ourselves right, we come up with silly reasons and excuses. The human tendency to save one’s skin is so powerful, the self-preservation instinct so strong that we forget the implications of some of our extremely negligible actions. What seemed like a minor altercation between the rickshaw driver and me left him poorer by Rs.3 and left me with a hurt ego. Had he been kind enough to accept his mistake I would not have taken the issue personally. But then, his instinct to preserve himself led to the misadventure.

The Education blackmail:

A very close friend of mine recently called me in the middle of the night. Not in the soberest of moods, nor in the soberest of senses, she had nothing but silence to offer. After much prodding, she started opening up. And what she told me, brought back some memories and some realization as to how lucky I have been.

My friend, lets call her S, had been preparing for her MBA entrance. And however much she tried, she always felt the time would never be on her side. And she tried harder, her parents forced her harder, it was a never ending loop. I told her, to try was in her hands, everything else was destiny. People who gave these long lectured about crafting their own destiny was nothing more than nonsense. With hard work, you can only achieve, this much. To achieve more, you need an ample amount of luck. But as always, my advise only fell on deaf years. All that she wanted was more time and less sleep, so she could study more. She had to live up to the expectations of her parents.

Rocket Singh: Winning need not be competitive

Saw Rocket Singh: Salesman of the Year after quite a while and I stood just as impressed. The movie is just as inspiring and could not have come at a better time. In a world run over by an extreme competitive streak, the movie stands out for preaching something just as opposite. I had been impressed the first time I had seen it and had written about it here. And today when I was able to view it again, it definitely stood out just as hard hitting and impressive.

Be Yourself:

I am a huge fan of Tom Morello. Though I am still heartbroken about the break up of RATM, I still follow Tom. And since Audioslave is the conglomeration of some great musicians including Chris Cornell, I did decide to check out some of their songs. A particular song caught my attention, "Be Yourself". And it was more than the music and the lyrics that I found very distinct. In addition to the fantastic guitar wizardry of Tom and the extraordinary vocals of Chris, I found the title of the song, very very interesting.

Ever since we are born, we are told to compare our lives with someone else's. Why can't you study like your brother? Why can't you play like your friend? So on and so forth. And the story continues as we grow up. Always living a life that does not belong to us. The temptation though still exits, doesn't it? The temptation to Be Yourself.

The Hulk within us all:

The Hulk is a wonderful and unique superhero. An uncontrollable monster living within the calm and banal being of the brilliant Dr.Banner, he is feared by friends and foes alike. But then, who would want to be friends with such a monster? That is a different issue.

The first two instalments of The Hulk franchise had Dr.Banner struggling with his incapability to control the monster. After zeroing in on his anger as the catalyst that triggers the emergence of The Hulk, the Doctor tries everything from solitude to meditation to calm himself down. The point I am trying to make here is, The Hulk is the anger. Destructive, uncaring and confused. Isn’t this how we see ourselves when we are infuriated? Anger makes us go blind, when everything and everyone seems to be conspiring against us. Who would want to be friends with such a monster?

How I stole a child’s childhood:

He played along. All of 8 years, he found things to play in everything he did. He jumped over the stones in the ground, smiling and laughing as he rushed from person to person. Singing to himself, he spun round as the wind struck him, as if the wind was playing games with him. I watched him with amazement, wondering how little it took for a life to be happy. His tattered clothes did not matter and maybe he did not even remember his hunger. I watched him, jealous, anxious and with a smile on my face. How lucky you are, I thought, to have found happiness.

And then.....crash!!!

Mother by any other name:

Technology has evolved. People have evolved. The world overall has evolved. Traditions have changed, relationships have changed and even mindsets have changed. Human evolution has not only been with respect to adaptability of the body but also a complete overhaul of the mind. However, the one thread that bound us thousands of years ago, still holds. The one word which most of us learn to utter when we first learn to speak….Ma.

The magic of the embrace:

It has been a long time since I read about Osho and his discourse on accepting everything in life. But then, I was young, I was confident, over confident to some extent and I dismissed the reading as "utter nonsense". With time, I have had a more lasting relationship with life and I have come to realize, how true the wise man was.

Embracing Failure:

Failure is the most difficult aspect of our life. But more than failure, it is the fear that failure might be around the corner, that saps up our mental strength. Worries and concerns, troubles and stress, all revolve around this central theme of failure. Failure to meet expectations, failure to meet demands, failure to achieve, the list is endless. And we struggle, fighting it, struggling against it. But what we fail to realize, is that fear is inherent to all of our lives. If everyone started winning, who would lose? Accepting failure, understanding the lessons from a failed attempt and continuing the journey, is the most treacherous of human conquests. Accepting failure also eliminates the fear of losing. Embracing failure as a part of life will bring about a paradigm shift in the way life progresses.

Building peace: piece by piece:

As we step into the addictive world of work, we forget the purpose of our stepping into this world. What made us indulge into the world of work and money in the first place? It was the assumption that with more money will come more comforts. And what does the ultimate comfort translate to? Peace? Happiness?

The comfort and happiness granted by money is only imaginary. It stays but only till the next goal. It’s a never ending pursuit to achieve more. And the ironic part is, we fail to realise that peace, is always in abundance. You do not actually need to gain more of it. It’s just about that much. A piece of peace is equal in weight to tonnes and tonnes of it. So why compare comfort with peace at all, in the first place?

That Mosquito and Me:

Exactly a week ago, I was feeling lethargic going to work in the morning. Mondays are usually extra energetic days, the mind having rested over the weekend and the body relaxed. Last Monday was a surprise. I still managed to get the work done well, forced myself to hit the gym but by evening, my body was giving up.

The next day, I went to get a lab test for Malaria, and before the results landed in my lap, I was already shivering in bed. In the hallucinations that followed the infection, I could imagine me and the alleged mosquito dueling over a duet. The song was none other than Def Leppard's Hysteria..........Malaria:

Malaria:

Me:

Out of touch, out of reach yeah 

You could try to get closer to me 

I'm in shit, I'm in deep, yeah 

Hypnotized, I'm shakin' to my knees 

Mosquito:

I gotta know tonight 

If you're blown tonight 

Can't stop this feeling 

Can't stop this fire 

Oh, I get hysterical, Malaria 

Oh can you feel it, do you believe it? 

It's such a nocturnal mysteria 

When you get that feelin', better start believin' 

'Cos it's a miracle, oh say you will, ooh babe 

Me:

Malaria, when you're near 

(After I get bitten)

Mosquito:

Out of me, into you yeah 

You could hide it's just a one way street 

Oh, I believe I'm in you, yeah 

Open wide, that's right, dream me off my feet 

Oh, believe in me 

I gotta know tonight 

If you're blown tonight 

Can't stop this feeling 

Can't stop this fire 

Me:

Oh, I get hysterical, Malaria 

Oh can you feel it, do you believe it? 

It's such a nocturnal mysteria 

When you get that feelin', better start believin' 

'Cos it's a miracle, oh say you will 

Ooh babe 

Malaria when you're near 

Come on 

Wake up and smell the life:

A ping from Anju, a highly successful colleague of mine, came as a surprise. She seemed worried. She had it all she said, but wanted more. She had plenty of money, but wanted more. She had a loving husband, but wanted more of his love. She had become exceedingly touchy about her work and needed better, more meaningful work. Over the fifteen minutes that I managed to chat with her, I realised that she was not even aware what she wanted. And finally when I asked her the question, “Anju, what is it that you are searching for? Wealth, success, love or peace?” It took her by surprise.